You are Not a Horrible Person

Bridesmaid, you are not a horrible person. Brides, if you’re reading this, look away. Here’s the thing people hint at, or make jokes about, but never really say out loud unless it’s a Katherine Heigl movie: being a bridesmaid can be rough at times because you’re asked to invest time, effort and money into something that is not about you and you don’t get paid to do it.

I’ve found society likes to paint this emotion as “bitter” or “jealousy” but ladies, we know this is not true. Maybe the root of that feeling applies once in a blue moon, but in general I’ve found if a bridesmaid isn’t 100% stoked it’s because… she’s human.

Gasp! Shock! Taylor Swift surprise face!

Listen. You are NOT a horrible, awful, no good, very bad friend because a long, stressful week of work has made you stress-eat a sleeve of Thin Mints and the last thing you want to do is try on dresses. Or go with her to try on dresses. Or discuss whether or not she should have a memory table set up at the reception. You’re human, your resources (patience, energy, ability to focus) have been drained and now all you want to do is curl up in bed with Netflix and tea. It happens! I call it the “but, mooooooom” feeling. It’s not a secret sign that you don’t support her or that you’re not over the moon about the wedding. You’re just in that can-I-hit-the-snooze-button? mood.

Don’t beat yourself up over feeling less-than-stoked, but… you do need to pull on your big-girl pants and try on those dresses. And you need to show up with your game face, because it’s your friend’s wedding and you love her more than you love New Girl marathons. I promise Zooey Deschanel will be there when you get back. And so will your bed with that cozy comforter your mom gave you. The sooner you go shimmy into those dresses for her the sooner you can hurry home to watch Vampire Diaries. Did I say Vampire Diaries? I clearly meant The Wire…


  • If you’re really dragging, treat yo’self!
  • Grab that stupidly delicious latte on the way (and while you’re at it, grab the bride’s favorite drink because you’re the best freakin’ bridesmaid ever).
  • Stop on the way home and grab a new RedBox movie.
  • Whip up your favorite healthy breakfast in the morning to give yourself that extra motivation to wake up.

Because being a bridesmaid is not about you, but your life is. Balance it out so you can be 150% there for the bride.

Now, go out there and be the best freakin’ bridesmaid ever. Bouquet bump.


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